taking a stab at it + closing a circle w/ nona invie
We’ve been in the new house for one month and one week. It’s been a blur. A lot of two steps forward, one step back. Needing to stop mid-way through projects and processes and reassess. Multiple trips to the hardware stores—a tour of them, in fact.
Flurries of phone calls and emails and paper work. A busyness that leaves a little less room for despair. But plenty of room for overwhelm and exhaustion.
I am grateful for this busyness, because I don’t think there is much rest to be had. And I do think I feel less helpless when I have something to focus my attention and energy towards. Not so much to distract as to channel and focus this restlessness. It’s got to go somewhere. Stagnation breeds sickness.
We learned a few weeks ago that late winter is not for hibernation here in pie town, but for pruning, and so we’ve been, well. Taking a stab at it. Maybe it’s crass to say, but it’s accurate, too. And as Mars finishes its retrograde journey in Cancer, we are learning how to cut back to care for things.
I’m not sure how good we are at it, but we are trying to listen and learn. I went too far on the first three trees. Thinning and clipping and sawing. I hope they survive my enthusiasm. We tried to be more deliberate, cautious with the next 5. Start at ground level, get your pickiness out with the Siberian elms crowding and encroaching at the base. Exorcise your fastidiousness removing the mysterious grape vine that threatens to consume the red delicious, forked tongues stiffly clutching the smaller budding branches.
It would have been better to ease in, but some times we don’t have a choice. Sometimes we’ve got to learn on the fly, dive right in, get over ourselves. Try things out. Own our mistakes and pray that they don’t cause too much harm.
Sometimes things come quick and clean and other times it’s arduous, messy. Lots of bangs and bumps and bruises and hiccups.
Sometimes we cannot stop and think or feel sorry for ourselves, must step in and fill the gaps in care. Find what’s been neglected around us and give those things a little time, a little attention.
Sometimes action precedes motivation. Some times it’s the little acts of potency that remind us of our power. That help us take the larger steps. Build momentum. Help us get some traction.
What are some little wins? Where can you remember your influence and potency, one chore or small kindness at a time? How can you remember what you care about, by caring for it?
a chance to work with mars
For the past ten weeks, Mars has appeared to slowly retrace its steps, from the early degrees of Leo almost halfway through Cancer. On February 23rd, it will appear to stop and change direction, resuming forward motion the following day.
But what does that even mean? Many of us are familiar with Mercury retrograde. Most folks know they shouldn’t sign contracts or buy expensive electronics if they can help it during these periods. Most of you reading this probably know that you should double and triple check travel arrangements, and expect delays and miscommunication when the messenger planet appears to move backwards.
Still, I digress. We’re here to talk about Mars. Not just Mars, but what happens when Mars appears to move backwards. When its expression is inverted, regressive. Sometimes retrograde turns things inward. Whatever it is that a planet normally *does*, retrograde periods mark times when things get a little gummed up. When expectations are subverted. When things don’t quite go as planned, and the illusion of linearity is once again shattered.
And what I have learned, dear ones, is that retrograde periods are a great time to parse out the individual influence of a given planet. We tend to take for granted that which becomes routine and expected. But when something surprises us, or takes a different tack, that shock can bring us into presence. Into noticing.
So if Mars likes to go forward, wants to gain ground, when Mars is retrograde ,it might move backwards. Might lose ground. If it rules motivation, we might find it hard to get going. If it’s the offensive, one might find oneself on the defensive, reactive and contracting. Retreating from the front lines.
When energy can’t be appropriately expressed, when anger can’t find its proper recipient, things come out sideways or get turned inward. Maybe instead of having road rage, you get a stomach ache? Maybe you’re embroiled in some conflict that seems to be going nowhere? Maybe an unsuspecting customer service agent gets a nasty email from you, instead of your state senator?
Many of us are feeling scared and helpless. Whatever potency or power we thought we had, whatever strength and resistance we’ve been building may feel hard to access. It’s hard to spit fire and lick your wounds at once. And a brain and body that are beaten down by relentless agitation are not in prime fighting shape.
But I have some hope, and I hope I can share it with you, because the winds are shifting. Mars will start to move forward again in the next couple of weeks, giving you an opportunity to regain your footing. And though the past few weeks may have been frustrating, I hope you’ve still been trying. Attempting.
Mars rules extension; going beyond what’s known. Thrusting forward and exposing yourself. There is a vulnerability inherent here—to stick one’s neck out, climb a little higher. To dare to say no. And some times it means we get our asses handed to us.
But some times we learn something valuable about our opponent. What their strategies are, what they’ll perceive as threatening and what they’ll write off. There is always something to learn.
Soon, we’ll be armed with that knowledge, and the sore spots to show us where to strike from and what to protect. Frustration can be a powerful motivating factor, can light the fire in our belly that we need to overcome fear.
It is with in mind that I’m inviting you to join me on March 6th for a workshop all about Mars. We’ll take a look at the retrograde cycle and try to identify where it’s hitting us collectively and individually. From there, we can share strategies around how to identify what’s under threat, and find the motivation to take tangible steps to defend it.
I’ll open up the class with a lecture on the planetary energies and share the degree points and significant days in the retrograde journey, as well as clues to how the retrograde may have been hitting your individual chart, and how that might point out right action in its wake. We’ll then do some reflection and writing to identify what our personal retrograde journey has been about, and how we might redirect and refocus our energies and attention as the planet resumes direct motion.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, worn out, frustrated and overwhelmed. If you’ve been embroiled in circular conflict and are looking for a different way to respond, or want to drum up the courage to assert yourself after a line has been crossed too many times, I hope you’ll consider signing up and joining this container!
closing a circle with nona invie
One WHOLE year ago (okay just shy by a few weeks), I got to sit down with Nona Invie and chat. Nona had just finished recording an album—Self Soothing, which surreptitiously comes out on February 28th— and joined me for a very sweet conversation about piano lessons, karaoke philosophy, songwriting, and the flattening of the Virgoan archetype. Nona’s new album is haunting and cinematic, and I could not be more excited for you all to hear it. Though you will be able to stream it anywhere, do consider buying it on bandcamp, and check out the tour flyer below for a chance to catch Nona live!!!
Nona Invie is a singer/composer based in Minneapolis that has worked with a range of musical projects, including singer-songwriter Angel Olsen, slowcore heroes LOW, Folk Americana band Dark Dark Dark, electronic trio RONiiA, and the choral ensemble Anonymous Choir. Their solo work layers acoustic piano with synth instruments, submerging the listener in an ethereal landscape led by the incomparable beauty of Invie’s voice.
find me on cycles of time
I had the pleasure of joining Alison Marie Dale for her Cycles of Time podcast last week. If you’re not familiar with her work, do check it out, and give this episode a listen. We talked about this weeks Full Moon in Leo, the Aquarian archetype, Mutable energy, astrology as a predictive tool, and more!
this week’s playlist
Is ambling along, however slowly…
more support
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